Pale Ballard Man Suddenly Identifies As Nordic Now That Norway Has A Shot At World Cup July 9, 2026 BALLARD — Ballardite and overall indoor person Kyle Smith has reportedly begun strongly identifying as Nordic after realizing Norway may have a legitimate shot…
Ballard Man With Strong Opinions on Restaurant Industry Finally Ready to Lose Life Savings July 9, 2026 BALLARD — After years of confidently explaining what every neighborhood restaurant is doing wrong, Ballardite Derek Plapson has announced he is finally ready to…
World Cup Ends, Ballard Begins Careful Reinstallation Of Visible Homelessness July 9, 2026 BALLARD — Following the departure of FIFA officials, international media, and thousands of soccer fans, Seattle city leaders confirmed this week that the region’s…
Overheard at the Ballard Sunday Market, Pt. 1 July 8, 2026 A weekly collection of things we definitely heard, probably misheard, or spiritually understood while standing too close to people buying $9 mushrooms. “We’re not…
Ballard Resident Shocked to Learn Increased Minimum Wage Also Increased Latte Costs July 8, 2026 BALLARD — When Robert Deuce voted in favor of increasing Seattle’s minimum wage, he thought he was making a positive contribution to the world….
